Hard Time

My feline friend Jack is 18 or 19. He has only a short time to live because his kidneys are shutting down. He has become thin but with a swollen middle. The swelling is his kidneys. His fur is 'staring'. The Vet said that elderly cats in renal failure look very un-cared for. I would love Jack to be in his usual sleek, glossy state but that's not going to happen again. Not in this lifetime. He is like a clockwork toy running down.

I hold him and cuddle him to my chest and he purrs and I can't stop tears welling up. I understand that he can't go on forever and I would never make my dear old friend suffer because I am too gutless to do the right thing. When he starts suffering, I will take him back to the Vet. But already the very thought of a life without Jack is tearing my heart out. We have had an exceptionally close bond. He is such a sweet, gentle, lovely old chap. You could go a long way and not meet a cat even half as nice. I will miss him dreadfully.

People can say 'he is only a cat' as much as they like. Its simply not true. He certainly IS a cat, but a very special and much loved one. We let animals into places in our souls that we would never trust another human to get to. We know that they do not have a dark side and will not callously inflict pain. Its a pure sort of love, devoid of the complexities of human love. Because we know there is no risk involved in loving an animal friend, we open our hearts to them. And their lives are so brief.

Then we grieve and mourn. The nature of the bereavement can be just as intense and painful as for the loss of a human friend, or even more so. There is no shame in pure love and the loss of the loved one can be overwhelming, no matter how many feet they have.