Ploddisms

"Mind how you go, it's the boys in grey!

Another bumper edition of Mind How You Go this week. It's hard to know where to start. Two entries from Greater Manchester Police, where officers were ordered not to chase three thieves making their getaway on stolen motorbikes because they weren't wearing crash helmets. The robbers, that is, not the old Bill.

In a separate development, GMP has told cops not to wash their new combat-style trousers too often after hundreds of pairs faded from black to grey.

In Suffolk, the police are giving stolen bikes to young offenders to help them look for work. Very Norman Tebbit.

And in Hertfordshire, the Old Bill scrambled a helicopter to search for a man who stole a bag of mince from Tesco in Potters Bar. This is the same force which, a couple of weeks ago, sent a copper on the bus to retrieve a shotgun from a popular picnic spot - on the grounds that it couldn't afford to send a patrol car.

Next time, he could use a stolen bike, provided he remembers to wear a crash helmet."

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