Usual old moans

My health has been 'down' lately. On Saturday afternoon, I had to go back to bed. And on Sunday too, which meant that I had to ask Caelyn to come and be with Sean and the children. There was just no way I could go on. There was nothing for it, I just had to sleep. And, as usual, felt no good effect from the sleep. I felt just as poisoned, achy and ill when I woke up as I had before I went to bed.

Today I couldn't get up really, except that I had to go out for bread and pet food. It was really, really difficult, and when I got back home, I was straight back to bed. I have to take the dog out later, and God only knows how I'm going to manage that. When I get up, I feel nauseous and dizzy; my muscles hurt and feel as responsive as jelly.

I hope this relapse clears up a bit before Christmas, but right now I can't imagine ever feeling OK ever again. Michelle can't help – she says she feels tired too. And she resents the idea of having to do more than her fair share, and I haven't got the strength to get into a debate about it.

Wendy went back to school today after half term. She is so sweet.