You know you're in South Africa when

You know you’re in South Africa when ...

When the police offer R 1000.00 for reward leading to the arrest of someone, or 3 cows.

When things don't get stolen, they get affirmatively acquired.

When the SABC summons you for non-payment of TV license fees - when
you don't have a television.

You can't make a phone call because the copper cables have been stolen.

The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.

When you go to prison for murder, instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms.

A pick-up truck is described as a "bakkie" even in English.

When a murderer gets a 2 year sentence and a pirate viewer a 6 month sentence.

The prisoners strike!

Crime actually DOES pay.

The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.

A 45 year old engineer gets replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.

When Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime is too high.

When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.

You don't stop at a red rob.... traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.

You find out there's nothing to watch on TV or it's broadcasting in 11 different official languages.

You are likely to spend less time in prison for shooting the SABC license inspector, than for actually not having a TV license.

People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to make their beds themselves.

When the vote counters in the rural areas are as illiterate as the voters.

You no longer request anything, you "DIMAND" it.

You know what "vowlence" is.