Chris Gardner's Funeral

Yesterday it was my mother's brother Chris' funeral.

We had stayed over at Sean's the previous night so we weren't hassled by a long drive on the day itself.

As we were traveling on the Pembury Rd, a hearse was just in front of us, and we overtook it. We thought it was Chris, and sure enough, it was.

When we got to the Kent and Sussex Crematorium, we got confused. There were two chapels and two car parks and they were not adequately signposted. We eventually got to the right place. The family were asked to line up outside the chapel on the right and the Freemasons on the left. The Freemasons seemed to be having their own rites and they were mostly in an adjoining room which had speakers connected to the chapel microphone. There was an odd looking masonic sign on the coffin.

The Chapel the family went in to was hot, airless and small. People were standing and squashed in everywhere. A Church of England clergyman conducted the Chapel service but oddly, didn't mention God or spirituality. He and Chris has been friends from years previously. Daughter Nikki read a short reading; two friends gave testimonials and the clergyman gave the eulogy.

Afterwards there was a reception in the masonic hall in Tunbridge Wells. Again, that was odd. Some people were in the bar where there were carpets, chairs and tables, but the sandwiches were laid out in a bare hall with just a trestle table. There were chairs stacked up in alcoves so I got a couple down for my Mum and I to sit on.

It was nice to see the family and to meet some I didn't know. We have been invited to a family Silver Wedding and a 21st Birthday on 13 September, which was nice. After that Mum and I went back to Sean's for a rest before coming home.

I hope that Chris's family 'enjoyed' the funeral service. I didn't, but I have no connections with the masons and I have a Christian faith, and different approaches are meaningful to different people.

When I die, I want a Requiem Mass. Catholics don't do Eulogies during the Mass because the focus is on God who gave the person life and who took it away and on His comfort to the bereaved and the hope we have of rising again to live with Him in His glory. Eulogies, if there are any, get done at the Wake, which I feel is more appropriate. It is right and fitting that God should be the focus of a Church service. But as I said, people do things differently and think differently. I'm not criticising because I have a 'live and let live' philosophy. If my daughters have another sort of service planned for when I go, I may very well come back to haunt them LOL.