Wednesday Morning

I’ve had yet another sleepless night.  Not because I am worried about anything, but it was just one of those nights that I could not settle down.  It happens to people with ME, and it isn’t worth getting upset about.

Sean came last night and we had such a nice, happy and relaxed evening.  It had begun raining heavily when his train was due to arrive so I sent a taxi to the station to meet him.  Just as well, poor lamb!


Robert, a friend of June’s, had sent me a huge bouquet of flowers.  There was a nice “Get Well” card with it.  Sean helped me cut the stems and arrange them.  That surely has to be unique!  The resident boyfriend helping to arrange flowers sent to his girlfriend by another chap?  Yes, it probably is.  But we are so secure with each other that we could have a happy time doing it together, with no embarrassment on my part and no jealousy on his either.  We know each other so well that the question of impropriety just wasn’t in the equation.  

Sean and I are at a time in our lives when we “should” be past all the romantic emotions.  I have never experienced love like this, and it has been incredibly healing.  I had to give up a career I loved, I live in fiscal penury because I am too ill to work and I very rarely feel well or pain-free.  Yet somehow in spite of all those external things, the truth is that I have never been more happy, secure and fulfilled in my life.  
I have no idea how I got so lucky – heaven knows I didn’t deserve it.  Yet this great blessing took me by surprise, and 8 years on, it still astounds me.  How could I be so fortunate?  I don’t know, and probably never will.  One thing is for sure though, and that is I appreciate this wonderful gift and am profoundly grateful for it.

My mum is coming this afternoon to watch South Pacific with me.  I’m looking forward to it.  She watched it when she was 9 months pregnant with me, so as I have never seen it, thought that it would only be right to watch it with her.

Her arthritis has been a big problem lately. At times she hasn’t been able to hold a pen, much less cut up fresh foods.  She has made an appointment with the doctor because there is a lot that can be done to help the problem and there is no point in suffering needlessly.  She has had other troubles with her health too, and has been wondering how much longer she should carry on driving.  When her ankles and back hurt a lot, she can’t manage the foot pedals too easily.  That could be resolved once she gets proper treatment though.  I pray that God will inspire the doctor with the ‘right’ treatment plan for her.  It interferes with her life so much and she doesn’t sleep well because of it so she is tired and often irritable with poor concentration in the daytime.  Poor mum!  Life is not easy for her, and she is functionally more frail than she wants people to guess.  Especially my brother.  She doesn’t really want him to know about her mobility problems and her use of mobility aids.  Why????  Is it a sin???  I don’t know why she tries to pull the wool over his eyes, but she does.  He isn’t stupid though, and she won’t be with him long before he works it out for himself.  

I think all the women in our family are stubborn and stiff-necked!!