Other News

Sean is back from Italy and loved Ravenna. He had gone with his old university chums to see the famous Mosaics, and it blew his mind. So ancient and still so glorious.

The temperatures look set on 30 all week. In certain airless spots, 34 is forecast. Caelyn says she wants to camp at my flat because, being a basement, it is always cool, and I will put the fans on. Teresa Jayne is particularly vulnerable to heat as her body area is large in proportion to the amount of fluids her tummy can handle, so she can't be allowed to sweat too much, or she will become dehydrated and that can kill a baby.

I made banana bread today. I haven't made it for so long that I'm going to keep a loaf back and taste it tomorrow to see if it is fit to serve to people. It always tastes better a few days after baking. If it turns out well, I may make another batch. But I feel unwell, nauseous, aching, tired and headachy, so I might not. I don't want to push myself too much because I want to enjoy seeing my brother over the weekend, and can't be doing with "payback".

The BBQ preparations are well under way. I have decided to cook the Lemon Pepper Chicken and the Garlic Butter Chicken at home on Saturday. I will carve it nicely and pack it in a plastic container. I don't want to chance it on the Braai. Sean has borrowed a gas braai and I've only ever braaied with charcoal.

Great News!!

Caelyn and Nigel have had two wonderful bits of news today.

First, Nigel heard that he has passed his course. Very well done!! Especially as it is hard to study with a wife whose pregnancy was difficult and with the distraction of a demanding toddler. Also, the further on you get, the more complicated the work. He has swotted and studied and his hard work has paid off. He has an interview to join the third and final year on Friday, and am sure he will be offered a place because his achievement reflects well on the college.

Second, they heard that they have won a holiday in Sussex in August, and that has cheered them up a lot too.

A darling new baby, a kindhearted and sweet delight of a toddler, good friends, a cosy house, adequate food and clothing and a loving and supportive family. So many Blessings! God is soooooooooooo good!!

Sponsored Toddle

The kids from the Mothers and Toddlers group had a Sponsored Toddle in Radnor Park in aid of a charity, Christians Against Poverty. Wendy did her lap round the park, but then she saw her little friend Faith wasn't doing too well, so she went to her and went round the track again, with her friend. She didn't want Faith to feel sad about coming last.

I thought that was very sweet.

Christians Against Poverty offer free help to people in debt, whether they are of any faith or none. They have won the Charity of the Year Award and they offer genuine solutions and hope to people who have got into terrible trouble. If you know anyone who is struggling, I recommend that you point them in the direction of CAP. They don't preach, but if you ask them, they will tell you about their faith. They don't charge for their services and there are no strings attached.

Ultimate Cat Lover

The Daily Mail printed a wonderful story about a middle aged South African lady who is a cat lover. The original article can be read HERE. This lady is inspiring. Wonder if she has a spare bed for a willing helper? Don't suppose that she has much trouble with burglars.


A word to my dear children:
After you read this, I don't want to hear one more word from you on the subject of Crazy Cat Ladies. I have never had more than five cats at a time, and since Jack has gone to Rainbow Bridge, only one cat shares my life, and she is so small there isn't much of her anyway.

I share my home with 11 cats - four cheetahs, five lions and two tigers

Sharing a bed with your furry friend has taken on a whole new meaning for Riana Van Nieuwenhuizen.

The sanctuary worker shares her South African home with not one but FOUR orphaned cheetahs, five lions and two tigers.

Forty-six-year-old Riana said: 'I love them all. But they're a handful.'



Riana bought her first cheetah, Fiela in 2006, after realising the big cats were in trouble and heading for extinction with only 1000 left in Africa.

She left her full time job working for the department of justice - a position she had held for 22 years - and found temporary employment on a game ranch where she could raise her beloved big cat.

But Riana's real dream was fully realised after she set up the not-for-profit Fiela Funds Cheetah Breeding Project in South Africa to ensure the long-term survival of the cheetah and their ecosystem.



The project spreads over a hectare of land and visitors can meet Fiela and the other cats and even have their pictures taken.

And if you want to outdo your friends in the wedding photo stakes the project also offers newly weds the chance to be snapped cuddling up to a big cat.

The cats in Riana's own home are truly part of the family and are allowed to roam freely.





They make it known when they are hungry, even jumping up onto work surfaces in an attempt to snatch a bite of whatever's going.

Luckily Riana's two dogs aren't on the menu but instead romp with the cats and even snuggle down with them for a snooze.

The cheetahs have even been known to sit in on the odd card game but whether they offered any cat-like-cunning or poker faces is unknown.

Meat arrived

Yesterday I ordered meat, rusks, pap and tins of cream style sweetcorn and it was delivered by courier before 09h00 this morning. I ordered it from Savanna.

The rusks are pure indulgence, and the cream style sweetcorn is for my own fail safe recipe for Corn Bread. Just as well I had the flop with steaming the other loaf in the vegetable steamer. How awful if I tried it for the first time on the day itself! The reason I tried it was because I don't like surprises and I wanted to make sure it worked. It didn't, as you will see a bit further down the page. My recipe not only tastes great but is flop proof.

It was packed remarkably well. There were 3 x 2kg ice packs at the bottom. Then each portion of meat was wrapped in a flexible foil ice pack, then wrapped again in bubble wrap. It was all packed in a large polystyrene box which was inside a cardboard box.

When I unpacked it, the Wors looked good. I will let you know if it is good to eat after we have eaten it. It was sent chilled rather than frozen, and I was pleased about that because now I don't have to worry about food safety . If frozen meat thawed in transit., it could not be refrozen safely, so it would have gone to waste unless I cooked it all and then froze it again. You can't put cooked meat on a BBQ. It would just be wrong. As it is, I was happy to put it in my freezer, and there it will stay until the Great BBQ Day. First one in 18 years!

The Gentle Art of Pacing - by an Expert

Dog Tired

Its 03h15 and I am awake because I have pain, headache and nausea from hell. I think a bit of bedrest is called for.

Results of Experiment.

An almighty flop. The loaf came out a sticky, soggy, stodgy, gloopy mess. I have concluded that using a vegetable steamer to cook bread doesn't work. Perhaps there was too much steam. I won't be trying this again.

An Experiment

I want to make Corn Bread (or Mielie Bread) for the Braai.
Corn bread uses baking powder not yeast and it contains no preservatives so it has to be eaten shortly after baking.

My tried and trusted recipe calls for the loaves to be baked at 190 for an hour and a half. There is a problem though. The Braai will be at Sean's in Tonbridge and he doesn't have a controllable oven. He has an Aga, and the top oven is very hot and the lower oven which is lukewarm. If I bake in Folkestone, the bread won't be nice after travelling all that way.

So I have been scouting around for recipes, and I think I got lucky because the recipe calls for the loaf to be steamed. I have a vegetable steamer that the loaf tin fits in to. So I am trying it and have put the mixture in the steamer in the loaf tin. Its on the go as I write. I'll let you know how it turns out.

The Recipe I am trying:
Zulu Steamed Corn Bread

CORN BREAD INGREDIENTS:-
1. 2 cups green mealies (shucked corn)
2. 2 cups all purpose flour
3. 2 Tbsp sugar
4. 4 tsp baking powder
5. 1 tsp salt
6. cold water

METHOD FOR MAKING CORN BREAD
1. Grind the corn using a mortar and pestle or the grinding blade of a blender/liquidiser

2. Mix all the ingredients together and add enough water to form a stiff dough.

3. Set aside for 10 minutes

4. Place the mixture in a greased loaf pan and steam for about 1½ hours.

5. Actually, the traditionally correct way to make this corn bread is to put the dough into empty, clean, greased, 1lb vegetable tins, filling them ¾ full. These are actually easier to steam.

6. This corn bread recipe will make the equivalent of a 1 lb loaf, and as a steamed bread has an unusual texture and delicious taste

Ah Ha! Thanks, Mum

My mother saw the knots I was getting myself into with where to order the goodies for our Braai and she sent me a link to other places. They both offer free delivery over £50, and their prices and stocks are competitive.

One is https://www.bokkefoods.com

and the other is thesavanna.co.uk

I have made preliminary lists from both companies and will be making a final decision a bit later this week.

Thanks, mum.

Last night I was scouring the Internet for Boerewors recipes and I found some tempting looking ones, plus an Anthony Worral Thompson Sausage Maker and Mincer, and I was tempted by that, but actually, I'd rather not risk an expensive flop with our first braai in 18 years. So I will buy the ready made stuff this time, but the idea of making my own is bubbling away at the back of my mind. The sausage maker can grind your own mince and you can make your own burger patties and know exactly what is inside them.

My kids don't like the recipe I gave our butcher to make for us, although I do. I'd have to ask them to look at the recipes and see which one they would like us to try. They all say you should fry a bit of the mixture so you can adjust the flavour before you put it into sausage casings. That sounds sensible to me.

Tempting.

I have to get up now because not only is it Monday morning, but I have a dental appointment. I also want to buy ingredients for two of the pickled salads I will be making, Sweet and Sour Green Beans and Tomato and Sultana Chutney.

OK - time to get up, old girl!

Teresa Jayne's First Smile

Caelyn has seen the first beginnings of a smile all week, so she has been playing with Teresa and trying to make her smile, but with no luck.

Today, Caelyn, Nigel, Wendy and Teresa Jayne went to Sean's for a lunch of roast chicken. Sean is scared to death of little babies because he always fears that he will hurt them by holding them wrong. Well, Caelyn gave her to Sean to hold, and guess what? Her very first smile, and it was for Sean. He was delighted, but Caelyn was a bit envious because she had been trying to get that smile out of that child for ages.

Wendy got Sean to play 'Tigers' with her. It involves lying on the grass pretending to be asleep, then waking up as a hungry Tiger and wanting breakfast. Then Wendy runs away and Sean tries to catch her to be his breakfast.

Being a sleeping Tiger:


Waking up hungry and trying to catch and eat Wendy:


Nigel then had to wrestle with her.


Teresa Jayne with her father:


Sean and Wendy played the Piano:


He played Fiddlesticks with her:


Then there was the "Tea Party":


When Sean phoned me tonight, he said that he loves Wendy dearly, but she is surprisingly exhausting! I had a good laugh about that. He said all he could do was to sit on the kitchen sofa and stare out at the garden without seeing anything for more than an hour. This is the man who was astonished to read in The Times that women looking after young children are habitually tired. He really has no idea what is involved in the running of a house and caring for small children.

Braai (or Barbeque) Plans
It was a lovely day though, and he and I spent a bit of time fine-tuning the plans for the Braai we are going to have on Sunday 5 July. My brother Stephen and his wife Margaret will be over on holiday from Australia then, and my kids and I haven't had a proper Braai since the early 90s. So this one is going to be very special, and we are tracking down special ingredients on the internet and finding sources of Boerewors.

I have a Boerewors recipe that I like and my local butcher makes it for me at a reasonable price. The kids don't like it though, so we have been looking for other sources. But if they haven't tasted the Wors from internet suppliers, how do they know they will like it?

One shop,www.biltong.co.uk has a good selection at a reasonable price. BUT - their postage is exorbitant. They say terms of delivery are up to 14 days and that meat is sent frozen, but they cannot guarantee that it will arrive frozen. Of course, once meat has thawed, it cannot be safely refrozen.

The other place, The South African Shop, is much more expensive but they guarantee next day delivery so the anxiety of worrying about a two week time period when Wors might or might not still be frozen doesn't arise. Also, their postage is much more reasonable.

Just compare the prices:
Ouma Buttermilk rusks at SA Shop is £3.49 and at Biltong it is £2.50
Koo Guava Halves 410g at SA Shop is £2.19 and at Biltong it is £1.60
Black Cat Peanut Butter 410g SA Shop £2.99 and at Biltong it is £1.65

If I'm going to try biltong.co.uk, the last day I can safely order is Thursday. I'm starting to get antsy. I really want this first Braai in 18 years to go well. If we have to wait another 18 years for a Braai, this one had better give longlasting good memories! Poor Sean has never had even an English Barbeque, never mind a proper South African one.

On Tuesday I'm having a trial run of baking Mieliebrood in Sean's Aga. The recipe calls for 90 minutes at 190C, and Agas are either very hot (top oven) or lukewarm (lower oven). And also this week, I'm going to make sweet and sour green bean atchar and tomato and sultana relish. They will need a couple of weeks to get to their best.

The concession we are making to Englishness is having fresh strawberries and ice cream for pudding.

Image Manipulation

I did this one yesterday. Its of Michelle and her niece Teresa Jayne.



This is from the same photo source:
It looks better on a bigger screen.

Story of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed'

The 18th of June is a bit Special

First Reason:
Its my sister Melanie's Birthday.
Happy Birthday, Mel.



Second Reason:
And Caelyn and Nigel's 4th Wedding Anniversary
Congratulations, you two.

Royal Gurkha Rifles

Gurkhas from Nepal have provided soldiers for the UK for many years. They are almost universally respected for their courage and they truly are assets to Great Britain. They have been decorated with some even winning the Victoria Cross. Their loyalty to the Crown and their bravery have made them feared by the bravest of foes.

There is a regiment of Gurkhas garrisoned in Folkestone. In all the years I have lived in Folkestone, I have read of a lot of local criminal reports and antisocial behaviour, but never any involving Gurkhas.

It has been disgraceful that their pension rights have been a lot less than that of other British soldiers. Also, although we allow all sorts of scum to settle here, these valiant men who put their lives on the line wherever they are sent, have not been allowed to settle here. After serving for 15 to 18 years, they have put down roots here. Who wouldn't? There was one disgusting story of a Gurkha who had won the Victoria Cross being refused entry into the UK for medical treatment on the grounds that he did not have enough connections with the UK.


Look at THIS story and see if you can read it without your stomach churning. Headline:
Gurkhas may have risked their lives for Britain, but that doesn't entitle to them to live here,' say Home Office lawyers

See the Guardian story HERE
Headline: Gurkha veterans' toughest battle - for the right to live in Britain


Forming up in Clifton Gardens


Marching along the Leas


A planted Tribute with their Regimental insignia


Comrades in Wheelchairs paraded too


This man lost a leg, and was being interviewed for TV


Today's photos are not very good for the best of reasons. I couldn't get close enough because there was a huge crowd - easily more than a thousand - lining the route, clapping and cheering and waving flags. This, on a normal working Thursday morning! And didn't they deserve every bit of it, and more.

Some influential people - notably Peter Carroll, whose politics I don't agree with but admire his great fight on this issue - and the actress Joanna Lumley - have campaigned long and hard for equal rights for the Gurkhas. Joanna's father served with them and always spoke very well of them, so she was prepared to fight for them. They had thousands of supporters from ordinary people who felt that if people were prepared to die for England, they ought to be allowed to live here if they chose to do so. I can't understand how the government could be so out of tune with the beliefs and sense of fair play of thousands of voters of all sorts of political persuasions. A fight like this should not have taken so much effort over so long a period.

BBC News Story HERE

Long overdue though it may be, I'm so glad that they are now officially

Rottweiler cares for Wolf cub

There is a wonderful story of a male Rottweiler caring for a female Wolf cub.

Just click HERE or copy and paste this into your browser http://tinyurl.com/nx3nyg

Monday

My Mum and Caelyn took the children to Little Treasures Toddler group this morning, then Caelyn and the kids came to me to wait for Nigel to pick them up after college. I tried to get some photos of Teresa, but it hasn't been easy, and those I have aren't very good.

I breastfed her Mum and Auntie Shell, and they were chubby chopped too, until they started walking, when it just dropped off. Old Mamma Nature surely knows what she is about! For the life of me I really can't understand why anyone would want to feed a baby any other way.

So, here's our little Chubby Chops at 5 weeks:


Wendy hates her sister to cry and always tries to soothe her. She loves holding her, so she has to be allowed to do it sometimes. I sit her on the sofa with cushions around and let her hold Teresa. We think refusing would cause jealousy or other negative feelings so we think it should be allowed under controlled circumstances.

Here is a sweet one of them together:


And as for this one, I really don't know what it was all about!:


I think its safe to assume that Woozle isn't a girl to be trifled with.

Sunday Evening

I had a day in bed yesterday, and am better but not brilliant today. Sean came to see me, and he went to pick up Wendy. We took her for Italian ice cream. She insisted on bringing her doll and doll's pushchair. On the way back, we went to play in the gardens. She had Sean playing Tigers and Catch Me and Hiding. He was exhausted when we took her home at 7pm. She had a jolly good run around so I hope she is tired enough to sleep well. Caelyn is tired because Teresa Jayne has been cranky all day.

Anyway, I got this beautiful photo of Wendy. It was a very lucky shot. I just happened to have the camera in my hand at the right moment. A lucky shot like this one is a rare blessing.



Here is a close up of it:


After taking her back home, we had dinner in the Gurkha Palace. It was up to their usual excellent standard. Last week we had tried to go there with Michelle and Richard, but there was a muddle over a booking so we had to go elsewhere. Tonight they were quiet - they usually are on a Sunday evening. They were glad we had come back and tried to press a free dinner on us. We refused on the grounds that we love the restaurant, like the people very much, and understand how the mix up happened. When they brought the bill, they had not charged us for drinks and we felt we should accept that graciously, so we did. We had a bottle of Perrier water, pineapple juice and Sean had two bottles of Stella Artois beer.

Friday

Felt awful all day, and couldn't get up. My head aches; my throat is sore, I'm nauseous and desperately tired. I slept a lot of the day, not out of choice, but it was one of those "have to" sleeps that don't change anything or make anything better.

Caelyn and the kids conked out for a sleep this afternoon, and felt all the better for it. Teresa Jayne is only 4 weeks old, and Caelyn isn't over the birth complications yet. She also has yet another person disturbing her sleep, so I'm pleased that she managed to get some rest. She should accept Nigel's help more so that she can rest when the kids do. She hasn't slept through a night for years, and it takes its toll. Mothers of young children are in a permanent sleep deprived daze. I'm sure that if a burglar woke her at night, she'd take him to the toilet and offer him a feed and nappy change. After a while, you know that anyone who disturbs your sleep wants attention in one of two areas, and you learn to tend to those matters on automatic pilot without waking up fully.

Michelle is having some health issues and some ups and downs at work, so please spare a prayer for her.

My mother is doing well with her weight loss program and is, very rightly, feeling cock-a-hoop. Well done!

And I need some more sleep. I resent having to sleep when it doesn't do a blind bit of good, but its an irresistible force and I can't fight it.

What a Day

Today the man on Tonbridge Station put me in the wrong carriage, and that was a problem because Folkestone platform staff would look for a wheelchair in the disabled section. The conductor sorted it out and made sure there was a ramp to get me off the train.

Then I went to have tea with Michelle and Richard. We watched the BBC documentary on 10 things you need to know about losing weight, and it was very interesting. After that I went home to rest. It didn't help though because I am just as tired and achy as I have been for a while.

My Firstborn


When Caelyn arrived, Wendy immediately began asking "where's Shell?". I let her talk to her Auntie on the phone and, with Caelyn's agreement, took her round to Michelle and she and Richard brought her back at about 9. There had been a mishap. Wendy had locked herself in the bathroom and got her fingers stuck in the sash window. She was crying and Michelle got Richard to force the door and they rescued her. Michelle said she snuggled in deep, knowing that Shell would help her. They put ice on the fingers then put a plaster on.

While Wendy was with Michelle and Richard, Caelyn had a long, peaceful soak in the bath. Its funny when you have a young baby. You need to bath because you smell of baby puke, milk and sweat, and both of my girls can't bear staying like that. They are fine about getting dirty but they also like getting clean again. When Caelyn had finished her soak, she added cold water to get the temperature right for Teresa, who enjoyed her very first Bath with Mum. She certainly seemed to enjoy it.

I'm going to post some pics I think are heartwarming.

Michelle with Teresa Jayne.


Just as if Teresa Jayne was their baby.


Wendy asleep on the sofa.


Richard is very good with these kids.


Richard watching over both children


All my descendants in one photo

The Tiger who came to Tea

Yesterday, Caelyn took Wendy to see The Tiger who came to Tea at the Leas Cliff Hall.  Wendy loved it and was head over heels with excitement.  She was bouncing around with delight when they got back to my house where my mother and I had been looking after Teresa Jayne.  

They have no hot water at the moment, and the plumber should be coming today or tomorrow to fix the boiler.  Of course you can't bath children in cold water or under an electric shower so they bathed here.  Here are some of the scenes:

Caelyn undressing Teresa


The girls in the bath


My mum enjoying a cuddle with her Great Granddaughter

Sounds very promising

Everything has to start somewhere, and I think this is a very good and promising start.  

The original article can be seen HERE

Here is a little snippet to whet the appetite.  Follow the link above for more of the article.

European Think Tank Forms to Generate Research Establishing ME/CFS as Organic Illness

“More than 5,000 research papers…show that ME has an organic basis…[yet] it has been close to impossible to initiate large-scale research to verify these facts and observations. We will never be able to treat ME properly if we do not initiate this type of research." – Prof. Kenny De Meirleir

Ten leading scientists in Europe - members of the nonprofit European Society for ME (http://esme-eu.com) - have formed a Think Tank for ME and will hold their first meeting with a press conference Saturday, June 13 in Stavanger, Norway. (See Scientific Panel Member Listing, below.) They want to initiate an effective research effort to find the secret behind the mystery disease that cripples an increasing number of lives.

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, often referred to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), is a disease which affects at least one million individuals in the US, and an even greater number in Europe. Despite the large number of people affected, there is a lack of serious large-scale research initiatives focused on the disease. The number of patients is rapidly increasing but healthcare personnel lack knowledge about existing research and possible treatments.

Last year's winner of the Nobel Prize in Medicine, Professor Luc Montagnier of France, says, "Scientists have already uncovered a lot about ME, but this information does not reach professional healthcare personnel, and the disease is still not taken seriously. It is about time this changes." Montagnier, one of the discoverers of the HIV-virus, is a supporter of the Think Tank.

Using new biotechnological techniques, much of the underlying pathophysiology of the disease has been unmasked. Several treatable clinical entities have been discovered, but this information does not reach healthcare personnel. The result is that patients remain undiagnosed and untreated for years with something that might be fully treatable. This is a huge drain on the economy, as the estimated socio-economic costs for Europe are estimated to be €20 billion annually.

Educate Professionals

An important part of the Think Tank's mission is to spread knowledge about the disease. The incidence of ME and the impact on public health are actually higher than that of other better researched conditions like Multiple Sclerosis and HIV. Research shows that ME can be a very disabling chronic disorder which often diminishes patients' quality of life to levels lower than that of cancer, MS, HIV and lupus.

Professor Ola Didrik Saugstad of Norway states, "There is a total lack of knowledge and understanding about this disease in the healthcare system. We wish to use our knowledge to educate and train doctors, therapists and other healthcare personnel so they can better understand how to manage an ME-patient."

Poor Caelyn!

Poor Caelyn broke a tooth over the weekend, and was in severe pain, so she made an emergency appointment with the dentist today.  The only appointment she could get was for when she was supposed to take Wendy to see a play at the Leas Cliff Hall.  Its the play of Wendy's current favourite book, The Tiger who came to Tea.  Luckily, the ticket office were accommodating, and changed the ticket for one tomorrow.  

It will be nice for Caelyn and Wendy to do some fun stuff together.  When you are a mother of young children, its so easy to be too busy to have real fun with them.  There is housework, shopping, taking to and fetching from school, cooking, bathing, doing laundry, seeing to the pets - the list of motherly "oughteries" is endless.  And Wendy is a lot of fun.  It will be nice for the two of them to enjoy a play together.  My mother bought the tickets because she has so much fun with Wendy that she thought Caelyn should have that pleasure too.  

So, back to the broken tooth.  It was a wisdom tooth that had been weak for a long time.  The dentist said it was too far gone to save so she agreed to an extraction.  He gave her local anaesthetic, but it didn't 'take' properly.  She didn't have full feeling, but she certainly felt quite a lot.  By the time they realised that she should have had a bigger dose, the tooth was partially loosened in the socket, so rather than having another injection and waiting for it to work, they just carried on.  Apparently they use different local anaesthetic for breastfeeding mothers.

When she got back here, she looked grey.   And do you know what worried her most?  She didn't know what to tell Wendy, because she didn't want Wendy to think that dentists hurt people and that they could take Wendy's teeth out.  

Here she is giving Teresa Jayne a cuddle

Heresy, Step Parents and Unscrambling eggs

This article appeared in the Daily Mail, and it makes a lot of sense to me. I have often worried about the social and cultural acceptance of illegitimacy. Another way of putting it is asking what future do the six children of Tower Block Tracey and an odd assortment of Guest Fathers have?

The Politically Correct Brigade do not speak on this subject out loud because it is 'judgemental'. Well, yes it is. As a reasonable and responsible person, it is my right and my duty to make judgements. Especially when the consequences of lack of judgement are painfully evident everywhere.

Can we blame Tower Block Tracey? Not really, as she is almost certainly living the adult life she witnessed as a child with Guest Fathers coming and going. The boys don't get left holding the baby, and none of Tracey's six kids were engendered by parthogenesis. The assorted Guest Fathers very likely got most of their support from gang members as they sought each others' company while their own Mum and Guest Dad were too stoned to bother about the kids. So Tracey and the Assorted Guest Dads became a phenomenon in response to their own very unstable upbringing.

The burning question that we have to find an answer to before we passively destroy our culture and society is "HOW ON EARTH CAN THIS EGG BE UNSCRAMBLED?" If we can't find a starting point, there will be little left - if anything - for the future. Civilisation as we know it is in its death throes. Can it be saved? Or will the PC Brigade suppress all discussion in our search for the beginning of an answer?

Here is an experienced teacher's opinion. The article is from the Daily Mail. Click HERE to read the original.

It's heresy to say it, but having a step-parent can wreck a child's life
By FRANCES CHILDS

Jackie, a 14-year- old straight-A student, sits at her desk applying her make-up.

Loudly, she informs her friend Lisa and the rest of the class that she hasn't been home for a week. She's been staying with her new boyfriend.

I am perplexed, as this behaviour is completely out of character.

But when I gently ask Jackie to get on with her work, she responds by swearing at me.

'Don't worry Miss, it's not you. Her mum's met someone. He's moved in,' her friend Lisa shrugs. It happens all the time.

These youngsters know it does and they are under no illusion as to what it means.

It certainly doesn't mean a happy new family. Nor does it herald the start of fun weekends at the seaside, shared jokes and lively discussion around the dining room table.

No, the arrival of a step-parent or 'partner' is far more likely to mean that the child's home, which should be their place of refuge becomes a place seething with pent up jealousies, anger and resentment.

Sadly, all too often, mother and daughter, father and son are set against one another by a parent's new spouse.

Last week news broke of the terrible death of seven-year-old Khyra Ishaq. It is alleged she starved to death.

Khyra's mother Angela Gordon and stepfather Junaid Abuhamza have been charged with causing or allowing the death of a child.

There is something horribly familiar about this story. We've seen it all before. The photograph of a smiling child, now dead.

The shocked response from neighbours. The accusations in the media that social services and teachers have failed.

The other thing that is sickeningly familiar about this tragedy is the little-commented-upon fact that Khyra Ishaq was the product of a broken home.

She lived with her mother and stepfather.

As did Lois Lazenby, dead at two, tortured to death by her stepfather. Likewise Aaron Gilbert, battered to death at just 13 months at the hands of his mother's new boyfriend.

Tahla Ikram was beaten to death last year aged 17 months. He looked, according to the horrified doctors who pronounced him dead on arrival at Ealing Hospital, like a car crash victim.

He lived with his father and stepmother.

While these are extreme cases, they are symptomatic of a society where children are increasingly living with adults who are not related to them.

The list of children murdered over the past two years by a stepparent or 'partner' of a natural parent could fill this page.

According to the NSPCC, one child a week dies at the hands of a parent or carer. For parent, I'd read step-parent.

As a teacher I've seen the results time and again of children forced to live with adults who have no biological link to them and have not the slightest interest in their happiness or well-being.

Step-parents and partners who see the children from a previous relationship as, at best, an irritating inconvenience.

I've witnessed over and over, the heartbreaking sight of children putting a brave face on their parents' pursuit of happiness at the very real expense of their own.

'Look Miss,' Sally shows me the wedding photos of her mum getting hitched to Sally's new 'dad'.

There's Sally, clutching her little bouquet of red carnations, she hovers uncertainly at the edge of the photo.

Her heavily pregnant mother and new husband take centre stage. Their hands are clasped, their faces wreathed in smiles.

A year later Sally has left home.

She's 12 and living with her grandmother. Her mother and stepfather felt it would be best if Sally no longer shared the family home.

After all, the family has changed and Sally isn't really part of it any more.

I've taught children who are on their third surname.

Desperate to please, to fit in and belong to the new family foisted upon them, youngsters take the name of men who at best tolerate and at worst actively dislike them.

While most step-parents don't batter or abuse their stepchildren, few youngsters can expect the unconditional love they deserve.

The most that many children can hope for from a step-parent is resigned acceptance to their existence.

Of course, some step-families do work.

Some men and women are well-adjusted and secure enough to take on the children from a previous relationship and form strong and loving bonds with them.

But let's not pretend that most broken and re-made families are happy ones.

It's hard enough bringing up your own children. Few people actively want to bring up someone else's.

In modern Britain, with it's ultra liberal approach to family life, it's deeply unfashionable to point out that children who have the misfortune to live with a step-parent are 75 per cent more likely to fail educationally and twice as likely to end up in prison, on drugs, or on the streets than those who live with their natural parents.

In my 12-year teaching career, I've worked with hundreds of children.

And I can honestly say that the number of youngsters with serious behavioural and psychological problems who live with both their natural parents is minuscule.

Almost all the children who have to be educated in what we bizarrely term the 'inclusion' unit, in reality a building set away from the main body of the school where trouble-makers with drug and alcohol addictions can be contained for the day, come from broken homes.

They live with a parent and that parent's lover.

Whenever we have to call in social services over a blackened eye or the suspicion that a child of 12 is left alone night after night, almost invariably that child lives with a step-parent.

In Britain today, it's taken as an inviolable truth that it's a parental right to form new relationships and move a step-parent into the home.

In the staff room, however, teachers acknowledge, sometimes openly, often in code, 'Mum's met someone, be worth keeping an eye out', that children are at risk from step-parents.

Sometimes our fears are unfounded, but sometimes they are not.

Sadly, though, many children remain in abusive families even after the intervention of social services, for the simple reason that children love their parents.

Even when those parents fail them time and again by condoning or actively participating in the abuse meted out by a stepparent, a child's love for their mum and dad is strong and fierce and unconditional.

Children rarely tell. They suffer; as little Khyra Ishaq did, in agonising silence.

Weekend

Sean and I went out with Michelle and Richard on Saturday night. We were supposed to go to the Gurkha Palace but it was so full that there wasn't a table for us, so we went to Giovanni's instead. It was lovely going out with the two of them, and we had a happy evening.

On Sunday, Sean and I went out for breakfast, then to Holy Mass. We had coffee in town on the way home. We read a bit of the newspapers then went to pick up Wendy, as Sean had promised to take her out in a rowing boat. Needless to say, her mate Brakkie came too. He is a Schipperke, or a Belgian Barge dog. He was bred to live on a boat but he had never gone out in one, so this was his chance to fulfil his destiny ;)) Or, as Maslow may have put it, it was 'the self actualisation of the Brak' ;))

At the boathouse


She was a little unsure at first, so she sat with me.
She soon entered in to the spirit of the adventure.


She soon wanted to learn how to row, though.


See what joy such a simple pleasure brought with it


The Brak pretending to be an Old Sea Dog


We fed this swan


The swans had 6 cygnets


We fed these ducks too. One still had yellow baby down.


We saw the Light Railway train go by.
Wendy had a lot of fun waving, and some people were kind enough to wave back.



The Military Canal is in a beautiful setting. We are blessed by such beauty.


After that, we popped in at my Mum's place. Wendy took great delight in showing Sean her seedlings. She already has some growing in my mum's garden, and watching them grow is a great pleasure in her life.


Rain? What a great reason to bring the umbrella out!
All kids seem to love them.


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