Bit later on Wednesday

We brought her home and as her trousers were wet, we needed to change them. Michelle offered to do it and it was hilarious. Wendy was wriggling all over the bed and laughing wickedly as Michelle chased her around to try to get her tights on her. She's turn over and crawl away shrieking with laughter. It took a good 10 min and much merriment to get those tights on her. Then we went to the kitchen and Wendy was still looking to Michelle for fun so Michelle had her upside down. Even more merriment!



Here, she is reading her Zoo book and is lifting the flap that a Snake is under. We all pretend to be frightened of the snake and she makes a great game of scaring us. Our pretended terror is part of the fun.



Jack has the right idea. Curled up in a warm comfortable place. We are having great gales at the moment, with official Severe Weather Warnings in place. Snow showers are forecast for tomorrow and the weather is expected to be bad for a while. I have gone out and stocked up on essentials because I won't go out during snow and howling gales. No, I'll follow Jack's sensible example and stay cosily warm in a comfortable spot.

Wednesday

When I got back from Tonbridge on Wednesday, Terrie and I picked Woozle up at school. She was in a fabulous mood, so we put some Wellies on her and took her to play on the Leas. She jumped with glee into every puddle we saw. She was running after a seagull because she wanted to cuddle it. Needless to say, she didn't catch the seagull but it again brings out how gentle and nurturing her nature is. She is always wanting to cuddle animals and babies, and at home she won't let the family eat until the dog has been given his food.



She was walking on walls and looking at the sea with wonder. This is the pleasure of a grandchild. As people age, they can become jaded and too busy to see the beauty and wonder all around them. Seeing the world through the awed gaze of a two year old revives the spirit and brings a joy of its own. Wendy has an infectious exuberance and sense of adventure that is intoxicating.



We stopped for some Hot Chocolate which we all needed as it was a cold day.



See how much she enjoyed her hot chocolate?



These simple pleasures add great richness to life.

Tuesday

On Tuesday I went to Sean because he wanted to take me to dinner with some Greek friends, Takis and his wife, Mel. We had dinner at the Spotted Dog in Ide Hill, which is a lovely pub, several centuries old. It was a pleasant evening with good company and the food up to the pub's usual high standard.



Takis and Mel have invited us to spend a long weekend with them in Greece. We are thinking of going towards the end of May. They live in a quiet part of Greece and we could see their olives being pressed into Olive Oil. I hate traveling, but I might go with Sean because he won't go on his own and he really needs a break as he has been working very hard for a long time without a break.



What I'm dreading is the endless waiting around at the Airport. You have to check in a couple of hours before the flight is due and airports are windy, uncomfortable and noisy and you have to walk terribly long distances. I can see me exhausted before take off. Flying doesn't worry me at all; its everything else that goes with it. I wonder if I should ask for wheelchair assistance as I can't walk very far and I don't want to go beyond my strength and land up in bed again for weeks or months. Not now that I'm doing so well.

Michelle

I mentioned that Michelle had had a bad fall last Friday as she was on her way to the bus stop after work. She went to Minor Injuries and they said she had injured her muscles and that it could take 6 weeks to heal up. She very rarely complains of pain, even in her hand which is seriously arthritic after her finger was crushed and reconstructed.

She was off duty this weekend but she said she had a lot of pain today and the pain tablets the hospital gave her aren't very effective. Her neck is in a bad way. She is wearing a surgical collar and she can't lift her arms above her head, but she went to work with the intention of asking the manager if she could do lighter duties for a while. They saw that she was trying to accommodate them and that she had come to work so as not to let them down, so they went out of their way to make things easier for her. She was put into one of the quieter houses where the residents are less dependent and she won't have to do their grocery shopping until she is better.

She will be on Leave next week anyway and she will be going on Retreat in Eastbourne.
I hope that will give her the time she needs to heal up. I am worried about the neck though and think she should have a couple of treatments from an Osteopath to reduce the risk of damage showing itself in the future. This sort of injury can seem fine for years and then decades later neck problems arise and by then it is hard to remember the original injury.

I'm really tired after spending 40 min on the computer so I will lie down for a bit now.

My New Reading Glasses

I have a pair of Silhouette Varifocals that I like and wear all day. But it isn't easy to read for long periods with varifocals as the reading part of the lens is quite small in comparison with the whole size of the lens. I love reading so I wanted a pair of reading glasses. I couldn't buy a pair from the Market because I need special lenses and the ones on the Market are just for simple magnification. But money is scarce and specs are expensive so I was thrilled to find an Internet optician selling glasses at a very reasonable price.



I got them today. The frame and lenses are well made and they were packed so well that damage in transit was impossible. The only gripe is that they don't suit my face very well but as I ordered them on the internet it was always going to be a gamble anyway, and I intend only using them to read in bed so it isn't a problem. My cats have never criticised my eyewear and as they are the ones who are going to see them, I'm really not bothered! The specs cost less than £30 and that included postage by Special Delivery. The company I got them from is EyeExpress. You have to send them a recent prescription from a registered optician, and if you have an eye test anywhere, the opticians are supposed to give you a copy of your prescription. If they don't you can always ask for one.

I wouldn't buy varifocals or even bifocals on the Internet because there is too much chance of the measurements being even slightly wrong and that would make the specs unusable.

Overall, it was a good experience and excellent value for money, so next month I plan to buy another pair with different lenses for use at the computer.

Steve Down Under

My brother Stephen who lives in Australia got this ride-on mower for his birthday. He and Margaret live on a couple of acres of land and they have had a lot of rain recently and the grass was waist high so tra la! lo and behold! a new John Deere ride on mower.



I'm glad he's got it because he is going to be building two holiday cottages on the land and nobody has the stamina to do everything. How different to his life in a small flat on a small island! Moving to Australia has been marvellous for him.



Way to go Steve!

Goals

Family News

We did not have Family Night In this week as Michelle was at work, Caelyn is in bed with ‘flu and Josie was having a Church Dinner. Here is a bit of the news all the same:

Wendy is a lot better after her ear infection, although still not completely herself. She has a pair of red Wellington boots and one of them has been at my house and the other at her own house. Caelyn says she has been insisting on wearing that one boot all week! I’ve mentioned quite frequently that she has to go out every day. With her Mum in bed with ‘flu, Wendy hasn’t been taken out and she got fed up with it. She found her shoes and coat, put them on, went to the front door and tried to get out. Her dad realised she would have to go out so he did the honours.





Nigel has had some good news about a Day Release apprenticeship in one of the main dealer chains. The man he spoke to knows Nigel's tutor who has promised to give him an excellent reference. I should think so because Nigel is first in his class, doesn't miss college unnecessarily and he works hard. His tutor gave them a surprise test the other week, on stuff he had told them to look up for homework. Only two or three had actually done the homework and they were the ones who passed. Nigel was one of them.




Michelle finished work at 10pm on Friday and she went to catch the bus home. A streetlight wasn’t working and it was so dark that she tripped over a raised manhole cover. She winded herself, grazed her chin and hurt her ankle. She says she had a panic attack because she is scared of the dark and she couldn’t find her handbag in the dark and she wanted her phone. Poor lass! She eventually got a taxi. She is bone tired because she has worked 10 days in a row. At least she has this weekend off.

I am terribly tired and aching and have been in bed all day. I told Sean I wasn’t well enough to see him and he was very sweet about it. This week, Sean stepped down from a 3 year stint as Master of the Catholic Writers Guild. He has handed over to Melanie MacDonagh and feels that she will do an excellent job.

Oh yes, I took Terrie to buy a new phone this week and had to set it up for her. She is pleased with it.

I am going to rest up as much as I can to get over this health blip as soon as possible.

Have a good week, everyone.

Woozle went to the Dr

I mentioned that Woozle was ill. Caelyn and Nigel took her to the Dr and he confirmed my suspicions - that she has an ear infection. She has been given antibiotics and her parents decided not to send her to college this week. I was to have gone to Dover today to look after her as Caelyn and Nigel were both due to be in College. Nigel phoned me this morning though, and told me not to come because Caelyn and Wendy are both sick and he was staying home to look after them.

As Wendy is sick, she has been sleeping a lot. Here she is sleeping on a chair with her friend Ayesha.



And here she is sleeping with her dog, Denim. She has a current "thing" about sleeping with dogs. When she is here at my house, she won't settle to sleep unless Brak lies next to her for a while.



And this is Denim Dog, friend and guardian of Woozle and Family.



I had an email from my brother in Australia this morning,. His wife has given him a lawnmower for his birthday. That has given me a good laugh.

Medical Receptionists!!

Wendy started an illness on Saturday. She is feverish and listless. She sits very quietly next to her mum with her head resting against Caelyn, saying 'hug, peas' or 'bed, peas'. Anyone who has ever had a child knows very well that 2yr old toddlers do not ask to go to bed, especially during the day. She is refusing the breast except to have it near her for comfort and she isn't eating or drinking. She has only had one wet nappy since Saturday and is therefore at risk of dehydration, which is dangerous in the very young and the elderly.

Caelyn phoned the surgery to ask for an appointment this morning and the Receptionist refused to make an appointment for her because she "had not been sick for more that 3 days" Dear Lord!!!!!!!! Heaven help us, because the Health Service surely won't.

She phoned back later and was more assertive and she got an appointment for 17h10. Nigel is going with them because they are less likely to mess a man about. And I told Caelyn to tell the Dr what his receptionist was saying as the chances are, he has no idea. I really can't see a Dr issuing an order like that because of the serious nature of childhood health problems. Something like Meningitis can kill a child within hours, so the idea that a child has to be ill for 3 days before being seen is bizarre, and a receptionist is not sufficiently skilled to be making those decisions.

The Leas yesterday

Terrie came with me to pick Wendy up from Nursery school yesterday. Wendy was having great fun jumping in the puddles and climbing on benches. To distract her from the puddles, we showed her the sea. She couldn't get over it - it was the biggest puddle she had ever seen! Oh Wow!! And she was trying to climb under the fence to get to it, so perhaps it wasn't a brilliant idea, really. I had fun teaching her to walk on a low wall. She was a bit apprehensive but within seconds had decided it was great fun. Of course, I was holding her so she wouldn't fall, but she took to it and made me walk up and down the length of the wall with her.



Its great when Terrie comes with me to pick Woo up because Terrie is very athletic and can keep up with her. Wendy is a child who needs to run outside every day no matter what the weather is doing. She loves Terrie and she loves the exercise, but she gets Terrie and I completely wiped out. Its worth it though, to see the fun and joy she has from seeing new things. She was climbing on benches and jumping into puddles very merrily. It is great seeing the wonder of new discoveries on her face as she explores her world. She delights in being alive and it is inspiring and heartwarming to see, God bless her!

Family Night In tomorrow

Family Night In is cancelled for tomorrow as I am going to break out of my time honoured routine and have dinner with Sean instead. My Mum is going to have dinner with Caelyn and Nigel.



They slept here on Tuesday night while Brak and I were in Tonbridge. They say that Wendy was running around calling for Brak and would not be comforted when she couldn't find him. Later that night, their dog Denim was asleep on Brak's bed. Spikky went up to him, made sure Caelyn and Nigel were looking at her, and she smacked him hard with her claws out. He woke up in fright and was yelping with shock and pain so they gave him a sausage to cheer him up. Then he hid under the bed where Spikky got him again so they put Spikky in the lounge so Denim could snooze in safety.

Here is a piccy to make you smile

That poor man!

Poor Nigel! He really gets involved in things. I'm sure that child thinks of him as her personal exercise interactive toy.



She loves being upside down.


Then, when she is tired of being upside down, daddy is useful to sit on while watching cartoons on television.


Wendy loves her dolls pram at home so when my mum saw this one going for a song in a charity shop, she got it for Wendy to keep at my house. She loved it! See her pushing the pram trailing a pink scarf 10 times bigger than she is!


My mum and I picked her up at Nursery - I was only 20 min late. She enjoyed her walk home in the rain but later she was tired and was resisting sleep with all her might. Eventually we took her to bed to make her settle down. She yelled in fury! Then she began saying Brak Brak Brak. So I picked Brak up and put him on the bed next to her. That made her happy and she was asleep in seconds. She and that silly dog have a great bond.

Thank God for my Phone

I have been waiting to see the Dermatologist since last February. When I received my appointment letter, I made a note in my mobile phone to remind me. The alarm went off on Sunday but I didn't take too much notice because I had it firmly in my head that it was for Tuesday. So when it alarmed again at 10h45, I looked closer, then checked the letter. It was for this morning at 11h15 so I dressed and scrambled to the hospital with a speed. I had to phone the Nursery to say I would probably be late to pick Wendy up.

To my surprise, I saw a South African doctor and he told me something interesting. He diagnosed Poikiloderma of Civatte which is basically sun damage from living in South Africa and it is harmless and no treatment is needed.

The other problem is that it looks like I have a dread of soap and water. Parts of my neck look filthy despite vigorous washing and exfoliating. He says it is probably inherited, that there are endocrine disorders linked to it causing abdominal weight gain, erratic menstrual cycles, facial hair, weight gain and insulin-resistance. He said it was not a skin disease but a symptom of something more serious. He asked if I had had any serious illnesses and I told him I had had Brucellosis Abortus and Melitensis in 1996, followed by pneumonia. He asked it I had symptoms of Myaligic Encephalitis (yes, he actually used the word encephalitis).

The problem in the UK is that Brucellosis has been eradicated here so even my elderly GP has never seen a case. If Brucellosis becomes chronic, it cannot be distinguished from ME, and it won't show on simple blood tests because the organism becomes intracellular. He is going to write to my GP to suggest a referral to a general physician who could then refer me to the top specialist in infectious diseases, a Dr James Nash.

It would be fantastic if I could get well again.
Thank God for my phone, because if it hadn't nagged me with its alarms, I would not have seen this Dr. Now I have a glimmer of hope in the darkness.

Bishop called to Parliament

The Bishop of Lancaster has been summoned to appear before a Parliamentary
committee to defend his publication of a document that defends the
teaching of Catholic doctrine in Catholic schools. The Chair of the
Committee, Barry Sheerman MP has said,

"A group of bishops appear to be taking a much firmer line and I
think it would be useful to call representatives of the Catholic
church in front of the committee to find out what is going on. It
seems to me that faith education works all right as long as people
are not that serious about their faith. But as soon as there is a
more doctrinaire attitude questions have to be asked. It does become
worrying when you get a new push from more fundamentalist bishops.
This is taxpayers' money after all."

If anyone wishes to contact Barry Sheerman to comment on this, he can
be written to at House of Commons, London, SW1A 0AA.

Family Friday

Sean had given me some money and specified that it was to be for a HiFi because I haven't had one for years. He and I used to enjoy listening to Gregorian Chant and we missed it. Its also nice to do housework with something cheerful and bouncy playing in the background. I ordered it and Nigel went to pick it up this afternoon, in a shop that really is a bit of a nightmare.



He then assembled it and put it up for me. It has a lovely sound, and I'm touched that he went to so much trouble for me. It was very sweet of him indeed. He is a son-in-law in a million.



Sean is coming to see me tomorrow and we will enjoy listening to something together. We like doing simple things together, like having a go at the crossword or just talking or reading together. Its a very comfortable and peaceful relationship that winds a thread of contentment through all of our lives. What an undeserved blessing! We are in our 10th year together and I couldn't even have dreamed that a relationship with a man could be so healing, tranquil, trustful and enriching. Even doing something mundane like buying soap or peeling potatoes, he is gently and quietly in a serene place in my mind.




Caelyn hasn't had a good Jackie cuddle since Woozle was born. She has naturally been more interested in her baby, but Jack had missed her and he was really snuggling in and not wanting to be put down. He has waited a long time - Wendy is 22 months old now. She was remembering how he was trying to comfort her when she was in labour. He was very good to her and both she and Michelle wept into his fur with his comforting paws around their necks and him lovingly headbutting them when they were teenagers and their hearts were broken for one reason or another. He is always good for a cuddle. Poor old chap is getting on a bit now. I can't bear to think of a time when he will no longer be with us. He is the lovingest most gentlemanly old boy ever. He must be 16 now, God bless him!




Look at the naughtiness on both of their faces! Its easy to see whose child she is.
Earlier this evening, she had slipped and bumped her head on the side of the table. Caelyn sprinted for the freezer and quickly applied a pack of peas (and Woozle ate some afterwards! She is mad about peas and would eat them like sweets if she could).
We thought she was going to have a black eye but luckily it seems as if there won't be a mark.

What infuriated me is that Caelyn said if there was a mark, she would have to keep her out of Nursery on Monday because there are signs up all over the place that they have a "duty" to report marks on children that they did not witness happening. The last thing anyone needs is a Social Worker turning up to "investigate". We have had one visit before because a "friend" reported them for their house being a mess and for not feeding Wendy. They had only just moved into their new house and there was builders mess everywhere. Wendy is not the sort of child who would play quietly in a corner while her parents unpacked, so getting straight took a while. Wendy was asking for the breast more than usual because she was teething and was feeling strange in the upheaval of moving.

In fact, its on the Blog that she began eating at 5 months. Her mum was having some rice pudding and Wendy wanted some, so from then on she was given whatever she wanted. Wendy has a very good general mixed diet that includes all sorts of fruit, veggies, meat, chicken, bread etc. Her weight, growth and development is good and she is way ahead of her milestones.

Anyway, it doesn't look as if there is gong to be a mark. The 'bump' happened about 40 min before this photo of her on Nigel's lap, and you can see she is perfectly happy. Dear me! My nerves!! I'm sooooooooooo glad I don't have to bring a child up in this godforsaken country!

If the above hyperlink does not work, paste this into your Browser http://meezermagic.blogspot.com/2006/07/we-had-rice-pudding-and-wendy-was-keen.html

First Aid Advice

Last Friday, 4 January, I posted about my daughter getting toothache essence in her eye. The headline in the local newspaper, the Folkestone Herald, was about a lady who called for medical help for her dying husband and the Emergency after hours doctor turned up 13 hours later. She was, understandably, very upset.

I am still seething about the runaround I got when trying to get some advice on how to deal with Caelyn, so I wrote a letter to the Herald. I doubt that they will print it, so I am going to post it here:

Folkestone Herald Letters

Sir

I was sad to read your cover story this week of Mrs Helen who had to wait for 13 hrs for a doctor to visit her dying husband.

I have a health annoyance too. Last Friday night 4 January, my married daughter who lives in Dover got oil of cloves – toothache essence – in her eye. Her husband called me and I told him to keep flooding the eye with water while I found out more specific treatment.

I thought of calling 999, but it was not a life-threatening emergency. All I wanted was urgent first aid advice, and no one would give it to me.

I called William Harvey A & E and was told they were not allowed to put calls through to staff from the public. They suggested NHS Direct, but they take forever to answer their calls and I did not know how corrosive toothache essence was or was not and I was worried about irreversible damage to the eye, so I phoned the out of hours GP service.

The woman who answered was annoyed with me and was quite rude because I did not want to waste time answering her questions about name, date of birth, address, postcode, usual GP etc. Her impatience, irritation and determination to stick to her “script” was extremely unhelpful and upset me a lot. Why would a person in that sort of job be incapable of understanding the dangers of strong chemicals in eyes and using her discretion?

When I realised that she would not help until she had the whole “pedigree”, I answered her questions, frantically worrying about my daughter’s eyesight. She then told me I should not have called her, that I should call Stour Care.

In the end, I looked it up on the Internet, and the treatment I had instructed her husband to give her was the right treatment. It might not have been, though, and seconds are very precious when a chemical is in someone’s eye.

What do people do if they do not have Internet access?

Little Lovelier

There is little lovelier than a sleeping child.



She is 22 months old now and very very busy during the day.
She loves going to Nursery, and when I picked her up today, she went to a little girl and kissed her on her cheek and said "Bye" before she left to come home with me.
When she is rested, she is enchanting.
But when she is tired, she is really naughty and defiant.

We are so blessed to have this little treasure in our family.
She is a gift of God and we are so grateful for her.

Weak as a Kitten?

When you feel as weak as a kitten and not very brave, remember that we are made in the image of the Lion of Judah and our weakness is no problem because He is really, seriously strong.




So lets practice ROARING!!!!!!!!

How cute is that Woozle?

Wendy is 22 months and she has a friend, Ayesha who is a few months older. Yesterday, Ayesha wet her nappy so Wendy went to her nappy bag, took out a nappy (Boots Pull Ons) and the sudocreme. She helped Ayesha take her nappy off, then put sudocreme on her bum and put a new nappy on her. Then she took the wet nappy and put it in the bin.

I have never heard of a toddler doing that before, and I think it is really cute and tenderhearted.

Marvellous Medical Services!!!

Last night, my daughter got Oil of Cloves (toothache essence) in her eyes. I don't know how corrosive that stuff is so I got her to rinse her eyes with lukewarm water repeatedly while I tried to find out what to do.

So I phoned A and E. Sorry, the receptionist couldn't put me through to any A and E staff. Against the rules.

So I tried the emergency out-of-hours number for the surgery and phoned them. They wanted full names/addresses etc, then told me they couldn't help because my daughter lives in another town. (That woman was extremely rude and unhelpful, by the way. She had no patience with me when I said that we don't have time to muck about, not with an eye. That is one little receptionist with an inflated idea of her own importance and the extent of her responsibilities).

She told me to call NHS Direct. It takes forever for them to answer the phone, then they want the whole pedigree before offering to phone you back.

999 could have helped - if it was a life threatening emergency, which it wasn't.

I eventually tracked down some advice on the Web. My advice of flooding the eye with lots of water was right, which is no comfort at all because we are still left with the problem of what to do in a serious emergency that is not life threatening. Oil of Cloves isn't something I want to think about in someone's eye. It could have been something else. Where on earth do people turn to for advice after hours? What if it happened to a family who are not connected to the internet?

Back in Friday mode

We had our usual Friday Family Night. Michelle was at work. Nigel's car insurance has lapsed so Josie went to Dover to pick them up. She made a Cottage Pie which went down very nicely.

They bought their new dog, Denny, who is a Patterdale Terrier. He was very well behaved - no scrounging food, no annoying the cats and he was friendly. We kept him and Brakkie apart but let them see each other. Denny was very unthreatening, but Brakkie wasn't too sure about another dog on his territory. I put him in my room for part of the evening, and Wendy didn't like it. She was trying to open the door to let him out, calling Brak! Brak! She loves that silly creature.

Here, Kate and Nigel are doing the Crossword. Isn't it funny how your idea of pleasure changes when you grow up and are parents? Denny is curled up happily with them.



Wendy is nearly 22 months old and her vocabulary has improved by a startling amount, just over the last week. Its quite incredible. She is getting stroppy, especially when she is tired. Then she really shouts! But overall, she is the gentle happy little soul she has always been. We've been saying for ages how strong-willed she is. We just have to remind ourselves that that is a good thing which will be a useful character trait when she is grown up. Not easy to cope with in the short term though, especially if you are an exhausted young parent.



In this photo, Wendy looks like someone I know. Its annoying because I can't place who, exactly. But that face is sooooo familiar.

Other people's Thoughts

At 20, you worry about what other people might think.

At 40, you don't care what other people think.

At 60, you realise no one was thinking about you anyway.

Success is ....

At the age of 4 success is.....not peeing your pants.
At the age of 12 success is.....having friends
At the age of 17 success is......having a drivers license.
At the age of 20 success is .....going all the way.
At the age of 35 success is......having money
At the age of 50 success is..... having money
At the age of 60 success is .....going all the way.
At the age of 70 success is .....having a drivers license
At the age of 75 success is...... having friends
At the age of 80 success is ......not peeing your pants.

Dental Appointment

I am very cross.

I had a crown put in about 18 months ago and I have had endless abscesses under it. I had a dental appointment today and when I got there I was told that my usual dentist had left. The new guy didn’t like the history so he x-rayed. The first x-ray I have had in several years.

The crown wasn’t put on properly and was leaking. There is a chronic infection, which flares up as an abscess regularly and the infection has caused bone loss. The bone itself is infected. The dentist who left had told me to come today to have the nerve removed. All that would have done was stop it being painful while the underlying infection got worse and worse, resulting in more bone loss.

The dentist today had to extract the tooth as it was unavoidable. I’m on heavy duty antibiotics and have to go back in 3 months for more x-rays and to plan further treatment, which will probably be a bridge. Ideally, an Implant would be best, but they cost £2000. Personally, I think they guy who carelessly neglected to do proper diagnostics and then treat appropriately ought to pay for an implant. None of this would have been necessary if he had taken note of the very first abscess, removed the crown, prepared the tooth properly and put a new crown on. I’ve had pain for ages, plus feeling ‘toxic’, which I ascribed to having ME.

My daughter had seen the same guy and he recorded checkups for years with no actual work being done. The best thing that happened to her was to have a dental emergency and to be seen by one of the other partners in the practice. He had wanted to remove 8 teeth but the partner said it was not necessary and that he would ask if she could be transferred to his patient list.

If she and I both had lists of visits with no treatment or investigations done, with an inappropriate treatment plan for both of us, other people were probably having the same experiences. The receptionist told me that he had 'left'. I wonder of he was asked to go when the other partners got fed up with fixing up his carelessness? We will probably never know. But I am relieved he is gone. I had no confidence in him but they are just about the only practice in the area who take a percentage of NHS patients so going to someone else wasn't an option.

First snow of the Year

Today we are seeing - and feeling - the first snow of the year. It has been bitterly cold over the past few days so snow isn't entirely unexpected. I'm thinking of my family in New Zealand, Australia and South Africa. It is so hot there now that they are doing as little as possible, and going outside to jump in their swimming pools and have barbeques with cold lager.

To add insult to injury, I have to go out for a dental appointment!
I'd rather be hot and going out to sit under a shady tree watching the family frolic in the swimming pool.

My Reasons for Studying

My studies have been on the back burner over the holiday season. My sister in New Zealand and I had a long talk this evening. She encouraged me to write down why I was studying and how I am going to do it, then read it aloud every day to keep myself motivated. I will pin it up near my desk so that I can keep reminding myself why it is so important. This is what I have come up with so far, but I will probably end up adding to the lists and perhaps removing things from it too.

Why am I studying?

• To achieve self respect
• To earn freedom from the exhausting Benefit system
• To have the power having my own cash can bring
• To give me more choices in my future with Sean
• To give me more choices generally
• To be able to help my children and Wendy
• For the heady feeling of achievement and success
• For personal safety
• For my own independence
• I want and need a marketable qualification
• Personal enrichment, figuratively and literally
• To insure against being powerless and vulnerable
• Because I CAN

How shall I achieve this?

• By asking God for help and inspiration
• By working consistently
• By setting boundaries and not allowing family or friends to distract me
• By making my studies my principle priority
• By asking for help when I need it.
• Self discipline and determination
• By remembering that I have done much harder things before now and have got through them very well.
• By keeping in mind the ‘no pain, no gain principle
• By being responsible
• By keeping focused on my reasons for wanting to study
• Remembering that I have a backbone. The wishbone has retired
• From past experience I know that I can do anything for survival and personal safety. These studies, in the final analysis, are about personal survival and safety.
• These studies are the doorway to a much better future

Christmas Down Under

My brother Stephen lives in Australia and his life has changed a great deal since moving there. He is such a sweetie that it is heartwarming to see how happy and well he is as he enjoys his new wife and new life. Their Christmas was very different to ours in cold, wet England. I've pasted a few of his comments in italic script below.



I am so glad that a happy Christmas was had by all, I am very proud of that Nig Nog for getting over terrible difficulties at Christmas dinner, even if she has forgotten how to write, very well done!

All went well here we had a huge sea food feast on Christmas Eve for about ten people. Christmas day went like a dream, turkey and ham included, and the weather was kind in that it was dull and raining, so the humidity was not too bad. We had several Barbie's on the deck, and were completely unaffected by the weather. This, I may add, is my third rainy Christmas in Aus, and we are currently on a severe weather warning so I will update you as to the relative meaning of 'unaffected' when we get the all clear.



See his feet? He has discovered the pleasures of going barefoot. We always did in South Africa and I found it very odd that English people seemed to have such a 'thing' about the wearing of shoes. You can't even wander around a hospital ward barefoot if you are a patient, without someone telling you to put some shoes on. In the last 10 years I have adjusted to this odd notion but it does my heart good to see Steve enjoying the freedom of being unshod.

Primary school children in South Africa don't have to wear shoes to school in summer. And over there when it rains, it pours down in bucketfuls, but the rain is warm so people take their shoes off. Its not as mad as it sounds, as it is a lot quicker to dry feet than to dry leather shoes. Shoes get stuffed in a plastic bag and carried and put on indoors when you get to where you are going.



Mia was of course the star of the show, and a delight, when I wasn't cooking I was trying to curl up with my new books, which is what Christmas is all about, after conspicuous consumption, when a voice would say Grandfer not read book play toys with Mia, so what could I do?