Advertising Slogans

IN A PODIATRIST’S OFFICE: “Time wounds all heels.”

ON A SEPTIC TANK TRUCK IN OREGON: “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

ON ANOTHER SEPTIC TANK TRUCK: “We’re #1 in the #2 business.”

AT A PROCTOLOGIST’S DOOR: “To expedite your visit, please back in.”

ON A PLUMBER’S TRUCK: “We repair what your husband fixed.”

ON ANOTHER PLUMBER’S TRUCK: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

ON A CHURCH BILLBOARD: “7 days without God makes one weak.”

AT A TYRE SHOP IN MILWAUKEE: “Invite us to your next blowout.”

ON A PLASTIC SURGEON’S OFFICE DOOR: “Hello. Can we pick your nose?”

AT A TOWING COMPANY: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

ON AN ELECTRICIAN’S TRUCK: “Let us remove your shorts.”

IN A NONSMOKING AREA: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

ON A MATERNITY ROOM DOOR: “Push. Push. Push.”

AT AN OPTOMETRIST’S OFFICE: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

ON A TAXIDERMIST’S WINDOW: “We really know our stuff.”

ON A FENCE: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”

AT A CAR DEALERSHIP: “The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

OUTSIDE A MUFFLER SHOP: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

IN A VETERNARIAN’S WAITING ROOM: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

AT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

IN A RESTAURANT WINDOW: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”

IN THE FRONT YARD OF A FUNERAL HOME: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

AT A PROPANE FILLING STATION: “Thank heaven for little grills.”

AND DON’T FORGET THE SIGN AT A CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP: “Best place in town to take a leak.”