How could I be so stupid?

I may have mentioned that about a month before Easter the whole family had a virus. Mine didn't clear up and just before Easter I went deaf in the right ear overnight so I went to see the Dr because we were going to Downside for Easter and I thought that if the infection got worse, it would be a nightmare trying to track down a Dr in Stratton-on-the-Fosse.

I didn't think anything of it because we with ME are so used to feeling grotty. I joined in as much and as many of the Easter services as I could.

I saw a locum GP today because I have had fever, sore throat, swollen glands, aching body from before Easter. I'm still deaf, nauseous and have had diarrhoea. I thought he would give me some antibiotics and all would be well within a few days.

Turns out he knows quite a lot about ME. He says my immune system isn't working properly and things have turned out like this because I pushed myself into going to Downside while I was not recovered from the virus. This is a relapse and I have to rest up for 24hr after my temperature has returned to normal and I must avoid crowds (eg on a train) and children and go back to a much lower baseline of function with much more rest until I gradually build up again.

Its OK to get up, bath, sit in an armchair for a while or sit in the garden if the weather is good. That still counts as 'rest'. I don't want or need total bedrest as deconditioning would soon set in. I worry about the poor dog though. He tries so hard to be good but he gets bored and full of Cabin Fever when I can't take him out.

I feel so stupid. What the Dr said makes sense, but none of it had occurred to me. I should have known better. After all these years of having ME, you would think I would have thought of that. But I didn't, and now the consequences are with me. I will take lots of extra care now so I will be OK for Melanie's wedding. They arrive on 8 May and get married in Exeter on 2 June - not long now.

I will need to sleep in Michelle's room and I have asked her twice to clean it. If she hasn't done so by next week, Kate will bring some boxes and we will pack it up for her. At the moment, it isn't possible to walk on the floor because it is piled up with clothes, papers, shopping, sweet wrappers and God knows what else.