Children Writing About the Sea

Children Writing About The Sea:

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Brittany age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(Breanne age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island.
If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.
(Michael age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,
Just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Skylar age 6)

5) A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Alyssa age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Rileigh age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade
Winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind
Didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the
Wind come. My brother said they would be better off
Eating beans.
(Lynn age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like
Their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Barbara age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby
Brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad
Keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just
Got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Rebecca age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to
Live in caves under the sea where I think they have
To plug themselves into chargers.
(Shannon age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very
Cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Keith age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the
Water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have
To go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell
Off when she was going very fast. She says she won't
Do it again because water shot up her fanny.
(Cheryl age 7)

Fat Father Jack Saved by a Brak!!

There was a sound of a cat fight in the garden, and I recognised one of the cats voices as belonging to Fat Father Jack.  He is a great general, and is getting quite battle scarred and disreputable looking.
So I opened the door and let Brak out.  He was off like a bullet, barking furiously.  He saw that other cat off, and Fat Jack came hightailing it back with a speed!
I gave him some comfort food and praised Brakkie for his heroic rescue of his fat friend.

The McDonnells

Neither Caelyn nor Nigel were well today, and Wendy is teething.  They were exhausted so I told them to go to bed and sleep for a while when I went to Hythe to see my mother.  
When I got back and they were awake, Nigel melted some chocolate and dipped strawberries and cherries into it for pudding.  What a wonderful, decadent dessert!  And surprisingly inexpensive too.
Nigel plans to go and talk to the college about a part time apprenticeship.  He hates not doing much, but his Crohns Disease is not sorted out yet and frankly his stamina is quite seriously affected.  If he can do it part time, I would support the idea.  He would become very ill and possibly collapse if he tried it on a full time basis.  I wish he would get an appointment to get his Crohns sorted out.  He has been waiting for over a year now.  

Sean

Sean went to an event he had arranged to present the Young Catholic Writer of the Year Award in London this evening, but the chap missed his plane from France and didn’t show up!  I wonder if he was delayed by having to wash dishes or something of that sort?  I said to Sean that he will probably be Master of the Keys Guild in 30 years (Keys is the Catholic Writers Guild, and the Master is the Chairman)

Josie

I went to see Josie in Hythe today.  Her blackcurrants are coming on; her beans and peas are doing well and the flowers in the front look lovely.  She gave me a spray of home grown miniature pink roses from her garden yesterday.  She says she has little interest in reading any more.  I tried to tweak her computer as it was giving trouble, but she will end up having to take it in to a PC Clinic I think.  I will go back tomorrow to see if there is anything further I can do.  We have a couple of easy to understand reference books there so we will take advice from them.

Michelle

Michelle
Michelle is working with mentally disabled adults in Norfolk temporarily.  The Residents like her a lot and her boss Di thinks she works with them very well.  Michelle is a bit lonely for young people’s company as the people she is staying with are in their 60s.  She has been to a Slimming World meeting and has lost a further 2lb.  She has also been going to the Gym, and is planning to go to a 10 week Alpha Course.  If it is 10 weeks and she goes for 10 weeks, she will meet new people and get to know them as the setting is very relaxed and informal, I believe.  

Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No - its SUPERBABE!! 

Sitting on her Mum's lap after having her lunch. 

A giggle with Mum 

Huge eyes and chewing fingers - that is how our Wendy is these days. Those teeth cause her a lot of bother. 

We wanted to go out, but Madam Spikkeldy was looking so comfortable in the pram that we didn't feel in was right to disturb her. 

A Woozle with her Uncle Brakkie 

Katie and baby Wendy, who is 16 weeks old.  

A Few Thoughts

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at a tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't
hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it
spells "Theirs?"

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL?

Our little Woozellum is 16 weeks old, and isn't she bonny? 

And when I got back, there was a lovely Woozle waiting for me! 

Sean's Leap. This is the spot where Sean used to climb over the wall when he was an Undergraduate and was late for his curfew. Just look at it!!!! All I can say is that I hope whatever stopped him from being on time to go through the gates was worth it. But I doubt it. 

Marie came up from Milton Keynes to visit Sean at Merton. We went out to lunch together. Marie is a teacher who loves teaching very much, but is very swamped with excessive paperwork.  

Promotion?

This is the Great Hall, where Dinners are hosted. The top table is the High Table, where VIPs sit. 

Promoted Up The Table.

A man was captured by cannibals.
"What," asked the cannibal chief, licking his lips, "is your job?"
"I am a newspaper man," came the reply.
"An editor?"
"No, merely a sub-editor."
"Promotion awaits you. After dinner you will be editor-in-chief."

Talking to Catherine at Dinner in the Hall. 

Sean dressed up to go into Dinner. 

Gates leading to the Croquet Lawn. 

The Main entrance. Merton was founded by the Bishop of Rochester in 1234 or thereabouts. It will be celebrating its 3/4 of a Millenium soon. 

The famous Lawn, where Tea on the Lawn is hosted. 

Merton College, Oxford, where Sean studied History. We spent the weekend there. 

Madame Woozle getting a lift on her daddy's shoulders. 

Talking to Uncle Brakkie again 

Daddy bought this new outfit for a lovely lass. He thought she would look nice in purple. He was right! 

Talking to Granny 

Pretty as a princess 

A Baby and a Brakkie 

Still with Mum